i can't believe this place...

... sometimes i wonder what's exactly different about us here (at home). i can't go out as freely as i would want to, i can't stay out late as freely as i would like to, and i can't even socialise without Big Brother (read: my parents) constantly filtering and screening who i go out with. heck! some people are surprised i still have a curfew at home (loosely-defined - that's what makes it hard to understand).

i mean, sure, i'm still living with my parents, and i'm not exactly self-sufficient. but i'm already 23, for Pete's sake. i wish they would at least be aware by now that, if anything, i WANT to commit mistakes because of the decisions i make. at least that way i'll have no one to blame but myself. as it is, if i encounter something not nice or not to my liking this way, i'm bound to end up blaming THEM. if i don't find myself out of this situation, i'll find myself getting/selecting friends just like how i found myself getting my degree of "choice" in college - suggested rather forcibly. either that or i'll play the role of Mr. Rebel, which will be fun for a while until everything gets cut off from my world, and i'm forced to humble myself back to reality.

it sure sucks being forced to follow the path of twisted conservatism (IMHO).

anyway, it's just an hour or so before i finally get out on a date again, after so long (about a few months actually) - i hope people here will understand someday that, it has nothing to do with upbringing; i am like this - not anyone one else at home.

No comments: